My Personal Guilt Ridden Nightmare
Sitting still and doing nothing is a guilt-ridden nightmare. But what about sleeping late?
Sleeping late is something that I never (NEVER) do. Except for today. I was tired, in fact, I was very tired. I did not sleep well this entire past week. The reason I did not sleep well was because my husband was exceptionally floppy in bed this past week. He was exceptionally floppy because he is stressed about work. When hubbie does not sleep . . . I do not sleep. I have stated this before . . . he has zero bedroom etiquette and I wished we had separate beds. When hubbie was not exceptionally floppy he was snoring like a buzz saw. Why so loud? He was drinking red wine by the bottle this week because of his stress level. When he drinks he snores really loud.
On with my sleeping late story. This morning I heard hubs wake up and start shuffling on the floor. He also shuffles on the carpet . . . as in he never picks up his feet. It drives me crazy . . . imagine a 240+ pound man shuffling about on your carpet? He goes to the bathroom and back to the bedroom. I knew what he was looking for . . . his glasses. I knew he was looking for them because baby girl was playing with them yesterday. I was waiting for him to come and wake me up but he did not, miraculously. All his shuffling woke up baby girl and she asked me to get up . . . I told her to go back to sleep. Our chatting woke up my son, who happened to have crawled into our bed before I even got there last night (well early this morning). I told them both to go downstairs with daddy. This is something that I never do. I just don't . . . I always get up with the children. Even if hubbie is up. Why you ask? Because hubs never truly watches the children. He doesn't feed them, although he always makes sure to have breakfast himself. He sits and watches television, or has his face in his laptop or he reads.
But, I stayed in bed this morning. I was too tired. I need just one more hour of sleep. I had just fallen back to a peaceful slumber when my daughter woke me up. She was sleeping in the toddler bed next to my bed (on my side). I told her to go downstairs as well and that if she needed anything to ask daddy.
I honestly didn't know if I would be able to fall back asleep or if my husband would even let it fly. But sleep I did. I slept until 8:55 AM. It felt great! But I knew I was in for a guilt-ridden nightmare.
I came downstairs and did not even get a glance, a look or a good morning. Well, that is how it is going to be then. I knew it. My kids were so happy to see me . . . firing off thirst and hunger requests for me to fulfill. After I had the children all settled down at the counter with juices and plates of food, I made a pot of coffee. I really didn't want to make enough for my husband because Christ almighty . . . can't he even make coffee in the morning first? (no, he can not . . . he never does and he never will).
He sat reading and didn't move . . . he had already eaten his breakfast but did get up to grab a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
I started about my morning routine of having cup of orange juice and coffee. Cleaning up after the childrens breakfasts. I first went to the powder room to fully clean. Then I moved on to the upstairs bathrooms and baby girl followed. She requested a bath in the big tub so I ran her a tub full of water while I was cleaning our master bathroom. Hubbie can up and chatted with baby girl for a few moments and then heaving a sigh states . . ."do you want me to vacuum or anything". And I reply "Yes, you can vacuum downstairs, that would be great".
I know he was shocked because I never ask him to do any household tasks. But after all the wonderful comments I received yesterday about how much more I should be relaxing I decided to take hubbie up on his offer to help. Normally he sits and watches me flit from room to room cleaning, he doesn't help. E.v.e.r. He told me years ago that cleaning was beneath him. That was the day I stopped doing his laundry.
Yes, it is true. I don't do my husband's laundry. Because of this there is tension every two weeks when hubs has to do his own laundry. This morning happened to be one of those mornings for him. So I now have two strikes against me. He was doing his laundry and I slept late. Never mind that I was on my hands and knees scrubbing bathrooms floors(we have four of them). He was plain pissed at me.
Well, I was not going to be drawn into his nonsense so I continued to clean all the bathrooms. I also gave the children a bath and got them dressed for the day. By the time I was finished I moved to the basement to help the children clean up the toys . . . of which they have too many.
I moved back upstairs to review the floors status since they had been vacuumed by dear husband. I saw a few vacuum tracks . . . but how can the floors be clean when the vacuum was on for less than five minutes? Literally it takes me 20-30 minutes to vacuum the downstairs. There is still dog hair everywhere. I sighed and resigned myself to not say a word. Because it would only start the "see, I can't do anything right". BUT - BUT - I know this shoddy vacuum job was done on purpose so he could say these exact words to me. Oh, you silly men, we are so on to your tricks. I took the vacuum out and plugged it in, but left it there to complete the task later.
The children needed to eat lunch by this time. I called my son and daughter up from the basement and asked them what they would like for lunch. Of course, each child wanted something different. I proceed to make microwave mac-n-cheese for baby girl. The hubs came out to the kitchen and grabbed the leftover Thai soup in the fridge and put some in a bowl. He literally stood almost on top of me waiting for the microwave. I had mini cheeseburgers AND mini pizzas waiting for the microwave next. I took the mac-cheese out and stirred it up and gave it to baby girl.
I went to the microwave and took out his soup bowl and put the mini cheeseburgers in. He came back to the kitchen at full speed and demands to know what I am doing. I state I am making the children lunch and he could wait for theirs to be heated up. He took the mini cheeseburgers out of the microwave and put his soup bowl back in. They were still frozen. I then took his soup out of the microwave again and put the mini burgers back in. He rounded the corner and literally puffed his chest out and I was moved out of the way.
Now I had enough of his nonsense and retarded actions. I shouted at him to stop being a bully and to just wait his turn. He shouted at me that I could warm up his soup then. I told him calmly that he was capable and he could wait for the children to have their lunch first. He opened the microwave and took out the still frozen cheeseburgers and put his soup back in and walked away. I took the soup back out and returned the mini burgers to the microwave again. He stomped back to the kitchen, grabbed his bowl and literally threw the soup back into the container and threw the bowl into the sink. All the while mumbling that I was unbelievable and crazy.
I continued with the cheeseburgers and then on to the mini pizzas and cutting up fruit for the children. I fed baby girl her mac-n-cheese. The children finished their lunch and I was cleaning up the kitchen. Dear Husband came into the kitchen and stated "you really hate me don't you" I looked at him and I state back . . . "Me, me, hate you . . . I didn't shove you out of the way with my chest . . . I didn't bully you . . . I was making lunch for our children . . . you are so selfish and childish that you could not even wait five minutes to heat up your soup . . . I am standing here trying to figure out what I did that was so unbelievable and crazy to you. Perhaps you can explain that to me because I don't get what I did to you that could be interrupted as crazy . . . I was making the children lunch . . . they are the priority . . . not you . . . you should wait . . . you would know that if you ever made them lunch before!" He walked away, not answering anything. I called him back to answer me and all he said was . . . "I don't know why you couldn't just make me lunch too". hugh???
So here is my question to my fellow bloggers . . . did I really do something unbelievable or crazy? Because I don't think that I did. So what if I slept a little late . . . don't I deserve it? So what if I wanted to make the children lunch and thought he should wait five minutes?
My theory in life is this . . . if you help me, I will help you. My husband does not think this is correct. He thinks it is my duty to help him. And by this he means that I do everything for him. I don't stand for this at all. I won't and I just don't allow this to happen in our house. After eight years of marriage you would think he would get with the program.
He is gone now . . . took my son to his basket ball game. I didn't go . . . and I feel terrible. But I could not sit in a car with my husband . . . sit beside him at a basketball game and be okay with his actions. My son is being punished for this . . . and it is not fair to him.
Welcome to my guilt-ridden nightmare.