Motherhood
I have always felt a bit odd on Mother's Day . . . odd and lost a bit. I don't recall spending wonderful flower-filled Sundays with grandmothers or mothers as a child. Which seems odd to me now as an adult.
Mother's Day was originally initiated as a way to show our mothers how much we as their children value their devotion and sacrifice, and how we appreciate the truth, purity and broad charity of a mother's love.2005 helping my daughter climb The Great Wall of ChinaAs I child I never had any of those feelings towards my own mother. I never had my own mother's devotion and she certainly never sacrificed anything for me. Yes, I have a mother, but I don't have a mother. Which is an awkward position to be in at times. Attempting to explain to a stranger why one is estranged from their own mother is, well, annoying to me at times. I later learned to say, my parents are no longer in my life. This stops all looks and judgement (sometimes).
2007 Mother's DayI never had trouble relating to my friends who had wonderful mothers. In fact, I devoured their interactions. What I did do was watch closely how these mothers treated their daughters and sons. I watched women that I admired over the years and took a bit of everyone of them. A piece, a memory, an endearing moment, a smile, a peal of laughter . . . these small moments that I tucked away to later use when I finally became a parent myself. I had to steal other's moments because I didn't have any of my own.
When I finally had a baby of my own, I insisted that this special day, Mother's Day, was my own to celebrate in the manner that I choose. I choose to be with my husband and my son and that was it. My first Mother's Day was perhaps the first Mother's Day that I really got it. If I need a mother's day idea, I look into my heart, thinking of my feelings on that first Mother's Day, my first year as a mother.
Over the years, I had a couple more children and my heart swelled to an even larger size, filling up with an abundnace of love. Last year was the most pleasant of Mother's Day for me . . . just quite simply a lovely day spent with my children and my husband.
This year I got the same (only a few tantrums in the mix) . . . I am thrilled to be part of a day that recognizes mothers and their many contributions. But in reality, mothers are something to be celebrated every day. I don’t need one day in 365 to be shown love and appreciation . . . I get that everyday!