My dearest baby,
You will be turning two here in a couple of days and I have to say I am more sad than anything. Sad because my little baby, you will be no more. I will have to stop calling you a baby, because you will officially be a toddler. I could almost cry at this crossing.
My darling, you are my last child I fear. I’m not sure if this ache in my heart will ever go away, I desire babies in my arms all the time. When we started out on this path of parenthood, your father and I; we always said four, we shall have four children. Your brother and sister came along in quick succession and quite easily, almost without effort on our parts, both incredibly easy pregnancies. I so desperately wanted another child and had such a hard time getting pregnant and staying pregnant. I thought my time had passed to hold another baby in my arms again. But we prayed and waited and while on vacation in Thailand, were blessed with you.
As everyone knows, each pregnancy is different, and I had no easy time with you, my darling gift. At 13 weeks, I went into premature labor and we found out that you were a girl. We were hoping for a boy, but I was so overjoyed for more pink things to come!
I had thyroid issues with this pregnancy and was told that you would be born with a lower I.Q. I have to say that I do not believe this for one nanosecond, because you are a very sharp little girl! I was monitored monthly by an Endocrinolgist, to monitor my thyroid levels and to see the blood levels between you and I. It was lovely to see you grow each month! This was a wonderful treat because I didn’t get this with my other pregnancies.
During the seventh month of your pregnancy, your amniotic levels were not as high as my doctor would have liked. So I was seeing her once a week for a NST (non stress test) and an ultrasound. I loved to see you weekly. During the eighth month I was seeing my doctor three times a week. I got to know you so well. You were scheduled for an early C-Sect due to the amniotic levels and were born 4 weeks early. (see June 21st ~ The Day You Were Born )
You were ill quite often early on as well baby girl. You had recurring double ear infections for months and months adn months. It was quite distressing and really affected your milestones. You would not eat anything until you were almost 9 months old, you really hated baby food and pretty much went straight to table foods at 10 months.
Your first birthday came and went with no big fanfare. You didn’t know the difference. School started for your brother and sister and you were quite happy to hang out with me for some girly time.
Halloween came and I made you the cutest chicken costume on the planet and you HATED it! It was as cute and cuddly as you . . . but you were miserable. I had to remove the costume so you could trick or treat with your brother and sister because you wouldn’t stop crying! Tears were streaming down your little face. You went for one of sister's princess dresses instead and were smiling once more. You were adorable treating away, never once relinquishing your pumpkin to me to carry for you.
You never learned to crawl, but scooty, scoot scooted on your toosh! Your scooting was the most adorable thing EVER. But very hard for you to get around when we were not at home! Therefore, you were carried everywhere. I didn’t mind one bit, because you were such a tiny little thing.
At 17 months you finally started to walk. Our cautious little girl, you looked so adorable and were so proud of yourself. You stuck by furniture and walls and were so very cautious. Two days after you started to walk you had a terrible fall. This fall led us to the E.R. I almost had a heart attack and definitely acquired a new mass of grey hair with that fall. You were diving from the recliner to the footstool and missed, smashing your face into the footstool. Oh, it was just awful, the blood, the missing gums. Just awful! I was so afraid that you had permanently damaged your gums.
You completely tore your Frenulum off and the gums above your front teeth were partially missing as well. It was something awful to look at and I really feared you would be disfigured! We took you to a Pediatric Dentist and he examined you and you were so brave and he said that your gums may or may not return, but your teeth were not damaged. But I am happy to say that right now, the gums are almost completely grown back! The Frenulum is still missing and I am not sure if that will grow back. I don’t think so as sister smashed her face on a shopping cart last year and hers is still missing as well.
Christmas came and you had fun helping to decorate the tree with your brother and sister. You even enjoyed opening a couple of presents, but really were not too interested. We had loads of snow over the winter and you had fun out in the snow and even sledding with all of us!
The New Year began in a deep freeze and we were stuck inside, but still having loads of fun. You were speaking so much better and really loved to read. It was our nightly ritual to read for hours after your siblings had gone to bed. You didn’t care what the book, as long as someone was reading to you. We read you so many of the same books that you started to memorize them and would repeat words to us at the appropriate time! We were so happy when you started to say your ABC's and you can count to 10 already!
In the spring we realized how much of an outdoorsy girl you are! You love to swing and play outside, you will stay out for hours and hours if I let you.
We began an Art class a couple of weeks ago and you are having a great time. If I can find you a two-year old preschool, I think you will be ready in the fall. This is great and I think it has helped you with your (not) sleeping through the night business. Since I nurse(d) you, this became your crutch to fall asleep. Therefore your would wake no less than every two hours to nurse yourself back to sleep. We have slowly been workingon this, you and I, becauase I am very tired! Just within the paast month you have started to sleep almost through the night. If you do wake, you ask for water instead. You are so cute and funny when you wake in the middle of the night. You hope up and start bouncing and ask for wong, this is your word for water. You sip sip sip and plop back down, patting the pillow for me to lay down next to you. Then you plop your head on my chest and flip flop around for awhile to settle back in. Sometimes you will climb up on top of me, our hearts beating together again (this I do love). This is how you fall asleep each night and during the night if you wake. I love it!
You love to play now and do so by yourself or with your sister. You play ponies, or with your doll house, with animals or in the play kitchen. But your favorite is still reading. You are still very cautious when roving about the house and are just now starting to run, but are still a bit clumsy. You are a very good little girl and listen really well and clean up your toys, almost without asking. You always say please and thank you and throw your own trash away! You like to (try) to get dressed by yourself now and even can put your own shoes on! You don't want any help getting in or out of the SUV and you absolutely don't want any help with your car seat. I like this new found independence baby girl! You are so proud of yourself for a job well done. And I'm
proud of you too!!
You give the best hugs and kisses right now and tell me all day long that you love me. This is something I will never tire of hearing and I hope you never stop telling me because I won’t stop telling you. You love your daddy so much and make his day when he walks in the door and you greet him with a girly wave and "Hi Dad-dy".
You are not too fond of mealtime, but you do love your snacks(nacks you say).
You love steak, but not too many other meats. You love the tops of asparagus and the tops of broccoli, and you will eat peas and beans and corn on the cob, but do not like carrots or potatoes. You love strawberries and apples and grape tomatoes are your all time favorite. You love sliced turkey and salami for lunch, but will pick chicken noodle soup almost everyday if I let you. You are still nursing and drink water and juice, but no cow's milk for you yet.
My darling baby, you bring me more joy than you will ever know. The baby that I wanted the most, the one that I tried for over a year to have. I love you so my baby girl. I cannot even believe how much you have grown. You are a little girl now, so angelic and those curls!! Time slips away quickly and quietly and you change almost daily, it seems. Knowing this makes me treasure this note even more. My beloved baby girl, my forever little love.