Here I sit, wondering if my son is okay . . . he started school . . . 1st grade . . . full day. This will be the first time that my dear son is away from me (except when I was in the hospital having his sisters) for more than a few hours. This is his first year at school, all day long . . . well, six hours anyway.
I'm nervous for him.
What if he needs something and if too afraid to ask?
What if something happens to him and he doesn't tell me?
I didn't let dear son know how worried and anxious I am for him. I was brave and put on a big smile for him. I told him he was going to have a fabulous day and to remember everything so he could tell me when he gets home. I told him how exciting it was going to be to eat lunch at school. I told him he will have recess this year at the awesome park, every single day.
When inside I am torn up that my first born baby has passed a threshold in his life and there's no turning back. When did time escape me? How did that happen so quickly on me? What will I do all day without his incessant questions and queries?
I woke him up for school and snuggled in bed with him for a few minutes . . . he popped up and walked to the bathroom and I was thinking . . . when did you get so tall child? I helped him get dressed and we went downstairs. I had already poured him his orange juice and I settled him in a chair to wake up a bit more. (I had to wake the girls and get them ready so we could all leave for son's big first day of school.)
He was ready. He was excited. He was happy. Backpack and lunchpack were ready and waiting. I asked him if he had any more questions about school and he just said . . . "Mom, can we just go already?"
I'll be fine . . . I think?