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Does this mean I am no cup size?

Sometimes, it seems like finding a bra that fits perfectly is impossible. I can never find a bra that fits me well. How can this be? Am I an idiot? No, I am just confronted with an incredibly complex problem. My bra size has changed through the years.

I have spent days and money shopping for the best fitting bra. There are so many styles, shapes and colors that I am scouring the earth looking for that perfect fit. It is an adventure unlike any other.

The bra or as stated in the movie Beaches, "the first over your shoulder boulder holder" has been a stressor of mine for years. . . YEARS! Amazing how one article of clothing can be so difficult to fit correctly, especially when there are so many to choose from.


Do you know the first bra was patented as the "breast holder" and later patented as the "breast supporter". P-l-e-a-s-e!!!!!!!!!!

Styles are constantly changing with the preferences of women. For instance, my very first tiny bra was this beautiful pale green and mess like flimsy scrap of material. I loved it! Did I need it? Absolutely not! But all my friends had one, so my grandma bought me one too (after much begging).


Throughout high school I wore sports bras because I was very active and they were easy.

Later on in my twenties, I discovered the pairs. Matching bras and panties and very lacy and racy. I liked a bit of padding and an underwire during this period because I happen to be quite small up top. Then even later on, I found this one particular bra that I loved and bought it in every color and even bought more and stored them away. (this being a Calvin Klein underwire sheer bra that I can no longer find). I gave up on the push-up bras. Some of those mysterious gadgets are more confusing than ever.


Later on even still I moved to the maternity bra and have basically been wearing some sort of nursing bra for the past seven years. I am so not joking on this one. I even typed up a Real Mom Meme about it. It is very sad. And they are very ugly, but they are very comfortable.

Recently I went bra-hunting. The problem that I noticed is that too many of the bras have all this extra padding. Yes, it looked and felt nice, until I got it on. I don't even want to say how many of these bras are stuffed in the bottom of a drawer now. Frankly these complicated vices hoisted my bosom way too high.

Bras are comfortable if you are wearing the right one. I can't find the right one. At this point, I am not even complaining about the styles not being sexy enough. Who am I kidding, I've got my man already.

Shopping for the perfect bra is stressful and taking up too much of my time. I think my problem is that I need to figure out my size. I used to be a solid B cup prior to having a baby and growing to a healthy C cup (prompting my brother to ask me if I got a boob job). Then shrinking to not a solid B any longer and then growing with another baby and shrinking and then growing again for yet another baby. And shrinking again to what I am today. (following me on that one)

I decided to get a good measurement at home. I got out my trusty flexible tape measure and first, measured under my breasts. If the number is less than 33" then round it off to the next even number (per the directions I looked up). Sadly, I needed to round up.

Second, measure under your arms.
Third, measure at the fullest part of your breasts.
Fourth, subtract the underarm total from the full breast total.
This is your cup size:

  • 1 inch--A
  • 2 inches--B
  • 3 inches--C
I'm not going any further because who am I kidding. Want to know something . . . the directions didn't tell me what my cup size is if my underarm measurement and my full breast measurement are THE SAME! Does this mean I am no cup size?


I want to know when I am going to feel like a princess with my best assets prominently and correctly displayed!


Here comes Peter Cottontail

Things I'll Never Be Able To Do Again